If you had a box that stored all the most important memories from your life what would be in it?Last night I had a strange dream that highlighted this idea. For those of you who know me well you will know that growing up I absolutely LOVED yard sales. Nearly every weekend I would go out searching for treasures. This began when I was very young and my grandparents would take me out each weekend with detailed maps drawn up and plans to hit all of those advertised in the local newspaper in a timing fashion. After my parents divorce and the hit it took to our finances, my siblings and I would ride our bikes around town with backpacks eager to purchase toys, entertainment and the latest tech at affordable prices.
It also meant that we learned the art of negotiation as we bartered for lower prices in order to ensure we had enough saved for future purchases. There are so many advantages to this teaching method through lived experience. As long as you keep to the initial outline and never give in to provide more finances when someone has spent theirs, even when it may mean tears and utter regret for the child at the time. (There were mild exceptions when amazing deals/prices resulted in grandparents or parents purchasing an item and wrapping it up for us to receive months later on our birthday but this was a rare exception). But back to my dream from last night. In this dream, I was in a second hand thrift store; something I have not gotten the chance to do since covid first began. Growing up in the north winters are long and yard sale season is limited so half the year I would get my yard sale fix from these kinds of stores like Value Village, Salvation Army, etc. so it makes sense that my subconscious wanted that yard sale fix. I was with my family and we were rummaging around this store collecting goodies. As I sifted through items I slowly began to realize that some were forgotten items we had lost over the years. A signed t-shirt from our vacation bible school program during summer with all of our friends names scribbled across it…. An old series of attached jack in the box toys with animals that pop out as you press, pull or turn the various buttons…. A fruit change purse… and finally an old bag of ripped up fabric from a craft class at school. Now I could tell you why these items have significance to me but that is far from the point of this post. See these items outwardly appear as a random selection of what could easily be seen as absolute trash. In fact I think I own still own one of them. Yet each item listed marks a key moment in my life. And by key moment I mean a deep inner importance that shaped who I am. Outwardly even to my siblings or parents, and admittedly at first glance for me as well, each of these items seems worthless. There is a reason I no longer even have most of them. Sometimes we don’t realize till its gone the meaning something once held. If you were to find a box with all the items that marked pivotal turnings in your inner spiritual life what might be in it? Now I will take the time to share about one of these items. Seemingly the least significant item – the bag of ripped fabric – is the one that stood out most to me. When I was 11 we were living over in Europe and I was attending school in Austria. We had an arts and craft class at the end of the day each Monday. This class was very different from art class. It was a mix of things like woodshop and sowing and working with wool or in this case building waste paper basket garbage bins from chicken wire, a wooden base, and decorative strips of fabric woven throughout the chicken wire. So why does this matter to me now? When we returned home I brought the basket back overseas along with a plastic bag of fabric because I hadn’t had time to complete the project since it was the final one of the school year and we ran out of time. I hadn’t put much thought into the pattern of mine, and it was the worst mark I received in that class. I simply grabbed the most unique pieces of fabric that caught my eye and strung them in curled directions of various twists and turns like little snakes slithering in and around each other in a giant pit. But I kept it because it was a memory of the life we had while over there. A memory that in some ways slowly drifted off like a lost dream over the years. This fabric was important to me though because of the white blue star and white background fabric that was in and amongst the various strips. This was the same fabric my friend had used for hers. And hers was a beautifully crafted pattern of squares and framed quite nicely. I think she may have also incorporated the fabric with pink stars, however it was predominately blue to my memory. Its been nearly two decades since I’ve seen it. I continued to keep in touch with this friend over the years, chatting often over msn messenger, email, and later Facebook chat. Unfortunately about 8 years ago, after not hearing from her in several months, I discovered that she had passed away. I was devastated. Had I known when it happened, I would have traveled abroad to be at her funeral, but I wasn’t in touch with anyone else at the time. Later I found out that she took her own life. This pains me and I wish I had been there for her. But having been close to that myself I also understand. So for me, this tiny bag of ripped fabric strips is an item that represents a part of me forever changed. Forever changed by the friendship I will always hold in my heart for her. Forever changed by the imprint she had on my life and the way knowing her opened my eyes to so much more about the world. Forever changed by the connection we maintained even after I had moved back to Canada. Forever changed by the impact the lack of her presence has had on me. And forever changed by seeing them importance of providing support for individuals who are ready to give up on life. Do I wish I had learned this another way? Yes. Do I regret that it holds a part of my heart that will forever motivate me in making this world a more inviting, inclusive space for everyone and the desire to build hope for those who are feeling hopeless? No. Forever in my heart. Forever and always. You are still here and your impact on the world will continue on. I will always love you and treasure the friendship you offered, if even for a brief time.
What would be in your box representing the moments that forever changed you? What does that item mean to you and what is the story that it tells? Never overlook the small moments because one day a piece of fabric that had little to no meaning may suddenly become something so much deeper than you ever thought possible.
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Life Coach Practitioner Katelyn Townsend helps individuals like you build enriched lives full of joy. Archives
December 2022
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